Matching

What Is It Good For?

Matching helps interactions with participants so you can focus on solving the problem. Consciously matching the approach or perspective of the other person to empathize or lead may help diffuse situations, enhance your understanding of their concerns, and build working relationships.

At times, you will be on a different level from the group or person you are trying to communicate with. Matching will help forge a common bond, build consent, and focus on the issues and options so that you can implement a solution.

How Do I Use It?

Match the level of the group for a few minutes and then gradually change to where you want to be. Different types of levels include mood, thought process, and personality:

 

Mood

Think about the emotions of that person or group and work from that level. If you are dealing with an angry "customer," you could raise your voice and quicken your pace for a few moments. Then gradually lower your voice and slow the pace until you are at a more "reasonable level." Or you might begin in a calm voice to diffuse the situation. The method you chose will depend on the circumstances. Chances are that your customer will follow suit.

Thought process

Participants will be at varying levels of awareness in the decision process. If your team is at a stage where they are weighing reasonable choices while most of the people at a public meeting are still at a stage of wishful thinking, you might say, "If we had the time, money, and resources, we could. . ." After spending a few minutes on a wish list, you can lead the participants to weigh reasonable choices by saying, "Unfortunately, we have only so much to work with."

Learning modes

People learn by seeing, hearing, or doing. The mode that each person prefers shows up in the manner of speaking--"I see your point,I hear you,I feel that." Tuning into these speech clues and patterns can give you an idea of how to approach someone.

Personality.

We all approach matters using different methods and perspectives, according to our personalities.

If you are an analyzer who likes to look at each part of the equation before deciding, and you are working with a pragmatist who just wants to get the job done, you might try to look at the situation from his point of view and ask, "What is the quickest way to get what we need?" Recognize your own limitations. If needed, use other staff whose personalities are more fitted to the situation. Personality tests abound. The Myers Briggs analysis is one of the more popular and useful.

You may want to take a personality test to see how you approach people and situations. Then you can roughly classify others. After seeing how other members of your team or public like to analyze or interact, you can work with varying approaches to reach a common goal.

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